Beyond harmony: Conflict competence as a future skill

In cooperation with conflict coach Sandra Maria Fanroth, the Academy is offering a new training format specifically designed to strengthen conflict competence as a key future-ready skill. "The decisive factor is not whether conflicts arise, but how we deal with them," says Academy Director Andrea Krönke.

In this interview, she talks with Sandra Maria Fanroth about what leadership really needs today, why conflict competence is a vital skill for the future, and the role gender plays in this dynamic.

Challenges as opportunities?

Sandra, you have been supporting leaders in difficult situations for many years. You often say that every challenge holds an opportunity. What exactly do you mean by that?

Conflicts are opportunities—even if we don't always perceive them that way at first. They are, not just in our professional lives, like salt in a soup: too much and it’s ruined, too little and it’s bland. After years of professional experience, I can only emphasize this: there is no growth without conflict. Dealing with conflict is rarely a walk in the park—which is why people love to sweep it under the rug—but conflict adds spice to work life, brings a breath of fresh air, and sparks new ideas. However, handling conflict is obviously not as simple as using a salt shaker. Disputes are often complex; they involve a great deal of emotion and needs, differing perceptions, a longing for harmony, and the drive for success. That is why it is worth expanding your own conflict skills so you can manage disputes effectively and use them as opportunities. I strongly encourage a bit more enthusiasm for conflict in leadership roles.

Gender roles and conflict

How do gender roles and socialization influence how people behave in conflict situations, and what challenges does this create, particularly for women in the workplace?

How people handle conflict depends heavily on their socialization. To keep it simple, I am speaking here in terms of men and women, though it is clear that gender identities today are much more diverse and fluid. In my seminars, I often observe that women do indeed argue differently than men—though not in the way the stereotypical "catfight" image suggests. Many women learn early on to communicate their own needs less clearly and instead focus on the well-being of others. This focus on the relationship level means that women often perceive tension more intensely, take conflicts more personally, and are hurt more easily. As a result, despite having high social competence, they can end up getting in their own way.

That may sound like a struggle, but reality shows that even in the 21st century, men interrupt women more frequently, women receive less speaking time, and female leaders are often confronted with negative stereotypes. Even as little girls, they learn unconsciously to hold back—for example, by crossing their legs and taking up less space.

To better handle these challenges, I recommend:

1. Focusing less on the relationship level and balancing it more with the factual level in conversations
2. Being more relaxed about conflict—it is normal and not a sign of weakness
3. Learning to set boundaries instead of trying to please everyone
4. Using non-verbal communication strategies, as many conflicts are decided non-verbally
5. Maintaining professional distance, fostering a healthy feedback culture, and building strong networks to protect yourself against stereotypical labeling

This is how women can expand their scope of action in the workplace and shape conflicts more constructively.

Concerns of leaders

What specific conflict situations do leaders come to you with? And do you notice that societal developments influence what is on their minds?

What I perceive most strongly is a sense of ambiguity and confusion regarding what modern leadership actually means. Corporate mission statements often talk about partnership-based or cooperative leadership, appreciation and trust, honesty, equality, leading by example, and challenging and supporting employees. Authoritarian leadership is taboo and should be a thing of the past. But what does that mean in practice? One of the most delicate topics is conversations involving critical feedback on a team member's behavior. Managers often don't know how to strike the right balance in such discussions between providing feedback, listening, and driving change. Does leading as a partner mean managers have to handle employees with kid gloves? Are they allowed to give direct instructions? Using what words? In what tone? What is appropriate?

I also see this as a phenomenon of our times. The socio-ecological transformation currently shaking up our society is calling many old ways into question before the new ones have become clear and tangible. In such times of upheaval, role models are usually in short supply—even though we humans learn very effectively through imitation. That is why I advocate for peer consultation and exchange, high-quality training, and the 4 Ms as a fundamental leadership mindset: You have to like people.

Boundaries in conflicts

In your experience, where is the line when it comes to conflicts: When should managers intervene themselves—and when is it better to bring in external support?

There are models that provide valuable guidance for diagnosing how far a conflict has escalated and at what point which intervention is advisable or even still possible. In the early stages, a conflict can often be resolved by the parties involved on their own. Intervention becomes absolutely necessary at the latest when damage occurs—whether psychological or material. However, it is much better for managers to step in as soon as factions start to form: This is very clearly recognizable when people start talking in small groups in the hallways—and generally talking about each other more than with each other.

The problem: 80 percent of all managers would rather start a new project than have a difficult conversation—to quote a well-known remark by management consultant Reinhard Sprenger. Therefore, there can be no general recommendation as to when an external third party should be brought in. The question is: What does a manager feel capable of doing? How good are their communication skills? How well can they juggle the roles of supervisor versus moderator? How well can they maintain the balance between professionalism and humanity?

Furthermore, I strongly advise against intervening if the employees can solve the problem themselves. Collaboration runs more smoothly, and it relieves the burden on managers when conflict competence is developed within the teams themselves. Intervention is mandatory whenever there is clear misconduct, when customer service and external perception—in other words, the company's goals and interests—are compromised, when company rules are broken, or when sexist or racist remarks occur.

A good conflict culture

What defines a good conflict culture—and how can it truly improve teamwork? And what role does training for managers play in this?

Systematic conflict management and a lived, fair conflict culture within a company offer the opportunity to harness the potential of conflicts. When handled constructively, conflicts have a wealth of positive effects: They prevent stagnation because they point out problems and necessitate communication. By demanding solutions, they foster creativity and innovation—and ultimately bring everyone involved closer together.

Today, in times of fierce competition, digitalization, immense increases in complexity, and work intensification, managers are under enormous pressure while simultaneously bearing responsibility for an open and fair work climate. It is now considered a proven fact that conflicts in companies cause high costs. That is why, in my opinion, a truly well-developed conflict competence is needed. In relevant training sessions, managers learn to identify tensions early and intervene constructively, to handle difficult situations appropriately and confidently, and to de-escalate emotionally charged situations. They learn to better understand the dynamics of conflicts and practice conducting professional conflict discussions. I consider all of this to be indispensable future skills.

Thank you for the conversation!

Further information on our services Leading in challenging situations can be found on our training page.